Thursday, August 11, 2011
American Saburration Society: Barney Doodle-the collected works - Prolific Ameri...
American Saburration Society: Barney Doodle-the collected works - Prolific Ameri...: "American Saburration Society of Authors and Writers Pick this month: Barney Doodle-the collected works Category: Prolific American Humori..."
The Amazing Barney Doodle
This is the true story of the Amazing Barney Doodle.
The above phrase means many different things. To some it means an amazing dog that is half golden retriever and half poodle.
To others it means a really fantastic drawing of Barney the purple dinosaur.
And to those who are fond of the old flintstones cartoons it means a simple little drawing of Barney Rubble, perhaps quickly sketched on a small scrap of paper.
I'm writing this to tell you the story of the most Amazing Barney Doodle of all, Me.
Yes all the other Amazing Barney Doodles cannot match the amazing things I have done.
At the age of seven I could recite the Gettysburg address. Well not the whole thing, just the first 3 or 4 words.
I had a difficult childhood. I grew up on a poodle farm. My father thought there would be a real demand for poodle milk but he was wrong. Poodle cheese was not a big seller either, so we never had much money. Plenty of cheese though.
My mother used to tell me that Abraham Lincoln was my real Father. Then she would tell me I was only worth a penny. It was nice to know I was worth something.
In spite of many hardships I grew into a man. I still believe in turning lemonade into lemons and that has been the secret to my success.
Today I am the editor in Chief at Oddwally.com - The Worlds most fun News and Entertainment Web Site...OddWally.com.
This job is the best one I have ever had. I get paid to yell at people. I can even insult them and they don't talk back. It's a great place to work.
Ever since the Rupert Murdoch thing I have learned some lessons. I have learned that just because I am the boss I can't steal their lunch.
I also have stopped spying on them and listening in on their phone calls. Now I pay another guy to do it.
I still make them pay me to get out of staff meetings.
I am good at droning on and on about boring stuff at meetings. I never let anybody else talk I just keep going and going about things like "why I like liverwurst" and "why Pinyatas are important."
Last week I talked for twenty minutes about noises that can cause migraine headaches. When I started adding sound effects they all got out their wallets.
They are always glad to pay me to stop. I just pass around a basket until I get enough to pay my bar tab and then I adjourn the meeting.
Well enough about me! What about you? How have you been?
Oh sorry. Times up. I have an important call from Rupert....
I'll call you back....
If you need me I'll be at Oddwally.com
Your friend, Barney Doodle
Like it? Then email,blog,twitter,facebook,google-buzz, or +1 it below.
Thank you from Barney
The above phrase means many different things. To some it means an amazing dog that is half golden retriever and half poodle.
To others it means a really fantastic drawing of Barney the purple dinosaur.
And to those who are fond of the old flintstones cartoons it means a simple little drawing of Barney Rubble, perhaps quickly sketched on a small scrap of paper.
I'm writing this to tell you the story of the most Amazing Barney Doodle of all, Me.
Yes all the other Amazing Barney Doodles cannot match the amazing things I have done.
At the age of seven I could recite the Gettysburg address. Well not the whole thing, just the first 3 or 4 words.
I had a difficult childhood. I grew up on a poodle farm. My father thought there would be a real demand for poodle milk but he was wrong. Poodle cheese was not a big seller either, so we never had much money. Plenty of cheese though.
My mother used to tell me that Abraham Lincoln was my real Father. Then she would tell me I was only worth a penny. It was nice to know I was worth something.
In spite of many hardships I grew into a man. I still believe in turning lemonade into lemons and that has been the secret to my success.
Today I am the editor in Chief at Oddwally.com - The Worlds most fun News and Entertainment Web Site...OddWally.com.
This job is the best one I have ever had. I get paid to yell at people. I can even insult them and they don't talk back. It's a great place to work.
Ever since the Rupert Murdoch thing I have learned some lessons. I have learned that just because I am the boss I can't steal their lunch.
I also have stopped spying on them and listening in on their phone calls. Now I pay another guy to do it.
I still make them pay me to get out of staff meetings.
I am good at droning on and on about boring stuff at meetings. I never let anybody else talk I just keep going and going about things like "why I like liverwurst" and "why Pinyatas are important."
Last week I talked for twenty minutes about noises that can cause migraine headaches. When I started adding sound effects they all got out their wallets.
They are always glad to pay me to stop. I just pass around a basket until I get enough to pay my bar tab and then I adjourn the meeting.
Well enough about me! What about you? How have you been?
Oh sorry. Times up. I have an important call from Rupert....
I'll call you back....
If you need me I'll be at Oddwally.com
Your friend, Barney Doodle
Like it? Then email,blog,twitter,facebook,google-buzz, or +1 it below.
Thank you from Barney
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